Special Mention: Mike Williamson vs. Leicester

In case you didn’t know Newcastle are in free fall. The club are stuck in perpetual motion of failure; a recurring nightmare featuring John Carver’s weather-beaten face. A magnet powered by footballing morality is intent on sucking Mike Ashley towards decreased revenue (and relegation).

On Saturday the beleaguered Toon faced a side of contrasting fortunes. Leicester have harnessed whatever strange drive Nigel Pearson is supplying to mount a late dash for safety.

The result and the performances of each sides were predictable, but in this case special mention must go to centre-back Mike Williamson.

Williamson has long been the ‘How the bloody hell is he a professional footballer?’ type. He possesses few desirable attributes for a person charged with defending a goal.

He has played for three Premier League sides, but has only ever made any appearances for Newcastle. This performance is surely his crowning Premier League achievement.

-55 pretend points (from Squawka)
-55 pretend points (from Squawka)

As you can see it had been a relatively steady season for our protagonist before he valiantly decided to stand out from the crowd.

He managed to stick around for 62 minutes on Saturday. He did the usual stuff – jump, boot and shout. He also stuck admirably to his brave tactic of not marking at set pieces.

Then, with his side 3-0 behind he took the unmissable opportunity to clatter Jamie Vardy in new territory. He trod pastures new. He boldly made a foul where no man had before.

X marks the spot (from Stats Zone)
X marks the spot (from Stats Zone)

He was sent off for a second yellow card.

If that injustice wasn’t enough, he was then accused by his manager of breaking boundaries on purpose.

Mike, your avant-garde techniques may be frowned upon by the officials, your manager, your fellow teammates and the real fans, but you are a visionary – keep on breaking the mould.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s